Skiffle lives!

Here is the official music video for the first single off the BSATCOP soundtrack album: Famous by Johnny Leroy and the Impulsives. The video features Johnny (Jon Sewell), Scotty Maher (Riley Maher), Pino Pastorious (Tim Sampson) and Benjamin Sniddlegrass (Andrew Griscti) himself. Also featured is the sinister Lord Emmerich, but we won't reveal who's behind the mask.

Welcome to Fairport Academy!

As you enter your teenage years, you may have noticed changes coming over you, physically and emotionally. New feelings and sensations, certain stirrings in certain parts of your body. This is called puberty and is perfectly normal. You may also have noticed that you can fly, sing in a very high voice and turn strawberries blue with your mind. This is not normal and is in fact very unusual. It means you are a 'Wittertainer', a human subspecies blessed with extraordinary powers. Congratulations.

Welcome to the official website of Fairport Academy, the world's finest Wittertainment Education Centre!

Situated on the picturesque Fairport Island off the east coast of Australia, Fairport Academy was founded in 1858 by Jeremiah Fairport, once of the most powerful wittertainers of his day. Dubbed 'Mains de Flappy' by his students, Jeremiah was headmaster for twenty years and ushered an entire generation of Witters through the spotty hell of adolescence into the cynical arrogance of young adulthood.

Famous students from Fairport's history include Mark Kermode (President of the Zac Efron Appreciation Society), Simon Mayo (voted #1 Charles Hawtrey impersonator 3 years running), music hall comedy double act Boyd & Floyd and former member of the Village People Jason Isaacs. Hello to Jason Isaacs.

Fairport offers a whole range of subjects, from the standard (Calculus, Biology, Quiff Maintenance) to the arcane (Advanced Zither Orchestration, 'Slade In Flames' Studies and Sport). Over your four years at Fairport, you will learn to take it like a man, feel like a natural woman and ring them bells, you heathens.

We encourage healthy competition among the student body. This often takes the form of Debating Societies, Chess Games and knife fights at Brighton Pier. When you arrive in your first year, you will be assessed and assigned a school house - either 'Mod' or 'Rocker'. Please see Mr. Ace Face when you arrive.

As part of our exchange program with the Werner Herzog Rogue Film School, our headmaster for the upcoming school year will be eccentric Bavarian filmmaker Werner Herzog. Students will be familiar with Mr. Herzog's work and may recall our 2009 school production of 'Grizzly Man! The Musical'. Theremin Instructor Pentangle will be heading to Germany as part of the exchange. Mr. Herzog has very kindly agreed to comply with Fairport staff facial hair requirements and grow a moustache for his time here.

Benjamin Sniddlegrass announces bid for PM

Nineteen year-old wittertainer Benjamin Sniddlegrass today announced that he was throwing his cap into the ring for Australia's highest position of power - Prime Minister. He made the announcement at a sparsely attended press conference at the foot of Mt. Buggery, Victoria, this morning.

'I've always loved this country - my island home!' said Sniddlegrass, who grew up in Cockfosters, England and moved to Australia less than a year ago. 'A burning country, a land of sweeping drains, of rugged Mountain Rangers!'

Sniddlegrass is running as a candidate for the newly-formed Cauldron Party, whose manifesto promises 'a horse in every barn, a cauldron in every kitchen'. So far, he appears to be the only candidate the party is fielding for this election, which may hurt their chances of gaining the majority needed to form government.

'Julia Gillard may be Australia's first ginger prime minister, but I will be Australia's first elected ginger prime minister,' said the be-quiffed redhead. 'It's time we ended the era of female prime ministers and let a man have a go for once!'

Pundits were quick to weigh in on his chances.

'He's got some forthright views,' explained veteran Channel 9 commentator Laurie Oakes, 'and those may hurt him in some areas. But he's been right out there in front on some issues. He was the first to say 'tough on penguins, tough on the causes of penguins', although he wouldn't explain what that actually meant when I asked him'.

Sniddlegrass took questions for a total of ninety minutes at the end of the press conference, most of them from Mark Latham, whose constant entreaties to the candidate to "call Rudd a snotty little douche" went unanswered.

In response to a question on immigration, Sniddlegrass had this to say: 'We will stop the stoats! I've had enough of this country being overrun by stoat people and my ban on human-animal hybridization should put a stop to that!'

The campaign released this commercial to media this afternoon:


Benjamin Sniddlegrass is currently polling third as Preferred Prime Minister - ahead of Tony Abbott, but behind Julia Gillard and P!nk.

Ginger Skiffle Sex God

Visit Johnny Leroy on MySpace and hear Stephen Fry talk about him!

Johnny Leroy is a name that reverberates through music history like a bedpan bouncing off the walls of an elevator shaft.

The skiffle icon was born Pelham Grenville Leroy in Intercourse, Pennsylvania, to strict Amish parents. James Hugh Callum Leroy and Stephanie John Leroy's religious beliefs forbade the presence of a radio (or 'Satan's noise box') in the house, so the curious young PG Leroy would jog the 1,189 miles from Intercourse to New Orleans every Saturday morning to watch to the local jug blues bands.

By 1952, Johnny had adopted the name that would be come famous and moved to Cockfosters, England. Soon after arriving, he became a star in the local skiffle scene, mentoring the young Lonnie Donegan. He was soon signed with local recording label Sputz Records and his first self-titled LP went to the top of the Euro-Synth-Pop charts. This was a strategic move by his label, who figured they would face little competition in a genre that would not exist for another twenty-six years.

After the success of 'Self', Johnny formed a trio with local manure salesmen, Riley Maher and Tim Sampson. They were of simple minds and tastes, content with a bucket of dung and a copy of the Daily Mail as payment for their musical services. The band, known now as Johnny Leroy and the Impulsives, began their first national tour in 1956, on the heels of Leroy's second LP, 'There's Johnny Leroy'.

The tour kicked off in Cockfosters and from there visited Wetwang, Twatt, Titty Hill and Thong, as part of a government initiative to bring music to towns with embarrassing place names.

In 1961, the Johnny Leroy came to an abrupt halt, when the man himself was asphyxiated in a tragic yogurt accident. He continued to has posthumous success, as Sputz Records executives issued numerous singles culled from hours of unreleased studio tapes. The double A-side of 'Do You Think We Should Go For Another Take On That One, Jeff?' and 'Do You Mind Getting Me A Coffee From The Canteen?' spent six weeks at number seven in 1962.

Leroy never lived to see himself immortalized in the film of his life story 'Ginger: The Johnny Leroy Story' or the success British Invasion bands had with covers of his songs - in particular, the Rutles' smash hit version of 'Just Strum An A7 For A Bit So I Can Get The Levels'.

I'll take one very tall man with a bent nose, please.

In case you're wondering, yes Stephen Fry is narrating Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins. I sat down with the man I've idolized since I was prepubescent this afternoon and laid down the track. He was as lovely as you might expect, his performance exceeded my wildest expectations and he pronounced the script 'very funny'. Well, if that didn't just make my year.

He also suggested I rope Michael Sheen in for a cameo, as he not only can play anyone but is a friend of Wittertainment. Perhaps he'd be up for portraying a sociopathic wizard with the head of a gorilla?

Lines that tag!

Inspired by Friday's episode of Wittertainment, we're running a competition to come up with an obvious tag line for the 'Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins' movie over on the Facebook page.

Here are some entries we've received so far:

'Benjamin Sniddlegrass says 'Hello' to danger!' - Ben Flanagan

'The name's Sniddlegrass. Benjamin Sniddlegrass, and I'm going to make a penguin stew' - Jonathon Paxton

'Cooking birds. This Christmas' - Rasmus Widengård.

'Every penguin attached to this should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.' - Calton Bolick.

Please keep these coming in, both on the Facebook page and on the comments section here. The winner will go on the new teaser poster for the film, which will come out in the coming weeks.

Also, please send them in to mayo@bbc.co.uk and you never know - you might here your handiwork on the radio come Friday, assuming they actually do the show on Friday and Dr K isn't stuck in the Ukraine with Dr Nyet or taking in dinner at Skifflopolus.

Extracts from 'Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Immersive Experience'

Extract from Chapter One

We didn't really get along.

Extract from Chapter Two

I think I fell in love with you.

Extract from Chapter Three

You said you'd stand by me.

Extract from Chapter Four

You were up to your old tricks.

Extract from Chapter Five

You were up to your old tricks.

Extract from Chapter Six

You were up to your old tricks.

Promoting the competition

As some of you may be aware, there is a rival Benjamin Sniddlegrass project in production, under the direction of Mr Richard Swarbrick, a young latrine maintenance engineer from Kuala Lumpur. He is the originator of the now infamous trailer, which Dr K rather inartfully revoiced.





Well, Mr Swarbrick is not one to rest on his laurels. On the rare minutes that he's not waste deep in effluent, replacing the fittings in a particularly difficult commode, he's been cranking the CGI up to ten and has produced the first of what I expect to be a thirty-six part series:





Become a fan of Richard's work on MyFace.

Fan Submissions #1: Dean Palmer, Secret Agent

I've decided to feature some reader submissions on the blog - fellow Wittertainment fans who have been following the exploits of Benjamin Sniddlegrass here and were inspired to create their own work. Last week I showed you a poster I'd put together from an idea from Mr David Partington. This time around, there's an actual poster which was sent to me from the wonderfully monikered Dean Palmer.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS HIGH INTENSITY TACHE ACTION.

Paul Greengrass's next film

You may have though Paul Greengrass would be taking a breather after releasing 'Green Zone', but he's back at it again, with a new film in production. We've sneaked a look at the poster:

with thanks to David Partington AKA partyhat for the concept.